Review – Birdemic – Shock and Terror

We hover and are flammable but only attack people who aren't living at one with nature (according to some guy who lives in a tree house that will burn down from the forrest fires also happening).

Ok where to start.

Two surprisingly successful nobodies who knew each other in high school run into each other and begin a relationship. Just as they take their romance to that special place (a sleazy hotel), birds (eagles and vultures) attack their sleepy little sea side town – and when I say attack they do exploding kamikaze dive bombs. Even though our protagonist (Rod) has an environmentally friendly car which he filled up with petrol, he ends up in a van conveniently filled with automatic weapons. They then rescue people haphazardly, meet an environmentalist or two, have a picnic then watch the world saved by other birds.

If it is meant to be this bad it is excellent.

The script.
The acting is cringe worthy – in fact the gif birds acted better.
The gif birds.
The editing.
The totally unnecessary shots.
The plot – there was a plot?
Global warming, blah blah blah, global warming.
Caustic bird poo.
WTF are they having picnics for?
Let’s go fishing.

I can’t begin to describe just how bad this film is.

The best part of the movie (and I use the term loosely) were the comments by the other 7 people who watched this with me at a bad movie night hosted by an evil and maniacal  friend. The pick of the comments was after one of the girls died “taking a shit” when an eagle slashed her throat – my friend’s comment? “At least she died doing what she loved.”

This film is worse than anything we made at high school, much worse.

Forget waterboarding, Birdemic is torture for the 21st century. Coming out soon on BluRay!

Also keep your eyes peeled for Birdemic II: The Resurrection. Though I wasn’t aware that the birds died – they just flew away for the last 10 mins of the film.


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3 Responses to “Review – Birdemic – Shock and Terror”

  1. Taezar (@Taezar) (@Taezar) Says:

    A romance movie for the new millennia. I review #Birdemic: Shock and Terror « (via @howmanypandas)

  2. Sam Clifford Says:

    This is the worst film I have ever seen. At least the mother from “The Room” has enough talent to save that film, even if she delivers every line as if it’s a “Learn to Speak English” DVD.

  3. Review – Piranha (aka Piranha 3D) « Says:

    […] After Birdemic it actually seemed good. Playing spot the teen tv star. Tension building. Watching a 3D movie in 2D […]

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