Posts Tagged ‘Comics’

Review – Solomon Kane (2009)

Tuesday, March 8th, 2011

Agents of Satan like to crucify too!

Synopsis:
Solomon Kane is a bad ass privateer/military man serving under Queen Elizabeth I, bent on treasure and destruction until he finds out that his evil ways means he is doomed to Hell. Go figure. He turns into a man of peace, until Evil takes hold of his little corner of England.

Pluses:
Lots of shots that were graphic novel perfect (mind you I have never read it) but you know the look I mean.
John Purefoy.
Pete Postlethwaite (already missed).
Nicely styled.
Interesting take on that time period – no Gloriana.
Some of the fight scenes were nicely done.
The cellar dwellers.
Some of the special effects were pretty sweet – especially the ones involving mirrors.

Minuses:
Some of the sets were pretty badly made – the graveyard of the old church especially.
Didn’t really gel as a story.
Solomon’s speaking voice.
He sent her back???

This movie at times felt and looked big budget, and at other times it had all the signs of a made for SyFy movie. It had all the components on paper to make it work, but it just didn’t. Obviously, there is no franchise out of this, which is a shame, because Solomon Kane is an interesting character, just not necessarily the way he was written for the movie – just like Van Helsing.

#twoandahalfevilfightingpandas

Review – Smallville – Fortune (S09Ep15)

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

Seriously dude. I had to dress as a Vegas Dancer and you still make me take my shirt off?

This week:
The gang decide to have a joint bachelor and bachelorette party. After some champagne to start them off, they wake up with no idea what happened, a la The Hangover.

Pluses:
Chloe + Oliver scene at the end.
The lucky monkey.

Minuses:
Where to start.
Not even close to an original idea.
Tess and Emile?
Emile as the new Elvis?
Seriously, Justin Hartly needs a new agent.
Been a while since Lois dressed stupidly, I guess we were due.

I freely admit I detested The Hangover, so this was never going to be an episode I liked. I felt it down played the relationships that were built up over the past few years, and did nothing to move the story forward. Where is Lionel? Where is Darkside?

#oneandahalfblahpandas

Review – The Cape – The Lich Part 1 (S01Ep07)

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011

I know that look - I had it while watching this episode

This week:
Flemming wants to buy the port of Palm City. Toby Zeigler wants to stop him and find a missing heir. Guy is making zombies.

That is as far as I got.

The Cape finally defeated me. I was just going to keep going till the end – it is in sight after all, but I just couldn’t. I can deal with Train Wreck TV, but this just had me feeling sorry for the cast and crew so I turned it off.

#nopandas

Review – The Cape – Goggles and Hicks (S01Ep06)

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011

Let's be stereotypical assassins in the way that stereotypical means "nothing like."

This week:
The Cape needs some time to heal and get his head back in the game so takes a day off. What could possibly interfere with that?

Pluses:
I did like the Tarot duo.
Vince’s son makes a friend.

Minuses:
Where to start?
The plot was dull.
The tech was ridiculous.
Flemming was under utilised and when he was on screen it was just stupid.
Orwell – yawn.

Thankgoodness this has been shelved. These days I watch just to see if it can actually get worse… it can.

#halfapanda

Review – Smallville – Collateral (S10Ep12)

Tuesday, February 8th, 2011

Let's look serious - and.... GO!

This week:
We pick up shortly after the events of Carter Hall’s funeral. All is not as it seems. Chloe is back but can she be trusted? Jumping off buildings. Superman flying. Matrix moments. Suicide Squad.

Pluses:
Liked how the story developed – I wasn’t 100% sure which was it was going, so loved the clarification.
Chloe goes to Oli first.
80 feet up.
Trust.
Lois’ face during the flight scene.
Unlikely alliances.
Fate.
Oli’s speech to Chloe at the end.

Minuses:
Black Canary – I really don’t like this incarnation.
Cheese Black Canary lines.
No Chay-Ara.

While there were a few too many Matrix moments for me, I really enjoyed this episode. The scene towards the end with Clark and Lois flying was a real highlight. Only a few more episodes to go – already dreading the thought of no more Smallville. Even bad Smallville is better than no Smallville. The final date/flight has been announced and while some bloggers are relishing its end, others, like me, will be sad to see an old friend leave my screens.

#threeandahalfavatarpandas

Review – The Cape – Dice (S01Ep05)

Monday, February 7th, 2011

Even though the enemy of my enemy is my friend, you are my enemy.

This week:
ARK prepares to release a computer than can predict the future (correctly). Dark moments of the past come back to haunt Flemming. The Cape finds himself on protective detail. Orwell does her techy thing. The Cape saves the day. Chess comes out to play.

Pluses:
The Flemming character is further developed.
Flemming and his psychologist.

Minuses:
We have seen the math on screen thing before.
Guest star not that strong.
Orwell annoyingly intrusive and stupid.
The plot of this episode.
Really what the hell is with the ridiculous contact lenses.

This episode really could have been something. Again it had all the components, but they didn’t gel. The Cape character is really such a disappointment. Flemming is a great villain, and doesn’t need to be Chess – that is merely a distraction. Flemming is a Luthor type villain, why turn him into something cheesy?

Interestingly, the publicity shots for this episode listed it as number three.

#onepandawaitingforcancellationohwaititisalreadyuponus

Review – The Cape – Kozmo (S01Ep03)

Tuesday, January 25th, 2011

Actually, it is part of my contract that I have to show how bendy I am in every show. You will see me get bendy and kick butt soon. You can call me The Curtain!

This week:
The previous owner of The Cape’s Cape wants it back. We find out about Max. Oh mysterious, hot blogger with unsuspected family history (if unsuspected means “dead obvious from the first few moments we meet her”) you get bendy. Vince’s wife thinks she can prove his innocence. ARK gets all sneaky. Chess doesn’t get dressed up. Good triumphs over evil.

Pluses:
At least we got to see some Rolo again.

Minuses:
Oh the Cape feeds of the darkness in men’s souls – OH NOES!
Orwell on the back of a mini bike – seriously who rides like that.
Such obvious plot twists and turns I felt almost offended by how dumb the show thought I must be.

The Cape is officially on notice. Only two more eps and I can be free of it I think. It still has no clue what kind of show it is. The plots is painful, the dialogue worse. I guess actors have to pay their mortgage somehow. This is a train wreck of epic proportions and I think it is wrong to watch a show for schadenfreude. I do hope it gets its act together as there are brief moments of potential, very brief moments.

#onenoncapewearingpanda

Review – The Cape – Tarot (S01Ep02)

Thursday, January 20th, 2011

Hi there Mr International Assassin. How are you? Did you know I kick arse in a skirt?

This week:
Toby Zeigler now works in local council in Palm City and is opposing the privatisation of the prison system by ARK. Flemming puts a hit on Toby. We meet the organisation Tarot. The Cape has to save the day, with some help of the “mysterious” blogger Orwell.

Pluses:
It wasn’t as bad as the pilot.
It is always nice to see Richard Schiff on the teev.
Tease to a secret crime organisation who all seem to have obvious tattoos.
Fun seeing The Cape getting his arse kicked.

Minuses:
Apparently The Cape can draw on the darkness in mens souls. Riiight.
What a waste of Schiff.
Ridiculousness of The Cape’s magical abilities.
Poison tolerance.

This was a shown in the US back to back with the pilot. I can’t imagine why they would choose to do that. They are two distinct, stand alone eps. Maybe they thought it people just saw the pilot they wouldn’t come back. This is going to sound weird, but even with super heroes there is some level of believability to their actions. This has none. The character of Orwell is so blatantly involved/related to XXX it is insane. Do they really think that their audience is that dumb… well given the writing, maybe.

#twopandasjust

Review – The Cape – Pilot (S01Ep01)

Monday, January 17th, 2011

You think I look silly now? You should see me in my mask too!

Synopsis:
Good cop gets framed for being criminal master mind. Hangs out with circus folk who also rob banks with furry woodland creatures. Determined to clear his name and reassure his family he isn’t a super villain with stupid contact lenses. Thankfully, he has a cape and a hot blogging side kick!

This week:
Oh noes! The man I am supposed to protect just blew up! I don’t trust the police force I am a part of, so I will join a private police force.  Betrayl! Oh look! Carni folk! The Cape gets a cape. Takes on villains.

Pluses:
Just proof that all female bloggers are super hot and very rich!
Ridiculously bad. Like watching a train wreck, you can’t look away.
James Frain when he isn’t trying to be stupid. This character of Peter Flemming is actually incredibly interesting – him being a super villain ruins it. (oh and it isn’t a spoiler – you are told this like 10 mins in)
Rollo.
The Cape getting his arse kicked.

Minuses:
Really? Those contacts?
Atrocious acting.
The most stupid stunts you will see for a long time.
What a waste of a guest star.
I sang “Too Hot for a Hoodie” to myself through the entire episode.
Ridiculous plot.

This show needs to work out if it is going to be superhero twee or a crime fighting procedural (as I read it was intended, just that it happened to have a super hero) or a scifi show (which I read some up coming episodes will be). I think the Australian channels are wisely hanging onto their cash to see how it goes before signing up for this show. Then again, No Ordinary Family was terrible, and it rates well each week.

#oneandahalfpseudocrimefightingpandas

Review – X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Thursday, December 30th, 2010

Ok, I know the movie is going to suck, but I am going to be awesome in it. Are we good?

Synopsis:
Through a lot of revisionist history we follow Logan Creed as he becomes the Wolverine. Along the way we run into some of our favourite X-Men as they “originate” or come into their own. Also along the way, Wolverine takes his clothes off a lot and yells into the air. Things end but they are really only the beginning.

Pluses:
Taylor Kitsch‘s Gambit.
Into credits.
Ummm, that is about it.
Oh, no yellow spandex.

Minuses:
Such a rewrite!
The Blob’s prosthetics.
Action figures act better.
Really? That island and that is why it did what it did? Oh please.
Did you really have to prance around nekkid Hugh Jackman – you are no Viggo Mortensen fighting nekkid.
How much plastic surgery has Patrick Stewart had?
I am sighing just thinking about this movie.

Why did they have to go and do a complete balls up? I mean, when I heard this was bad, I thought, oh just fan boys having a whinge, but it was bad on so many levels. I did learn though that you should never go into a building with Hugh Jackman as it will blow up. Life lesson complete.

#oneandahalfadamantiumpandas

PS. Sorry I can’t give anything Marvel less than #oneandahalfpandas, my heart just won’t let me.